Provocation

June 18, 2016 — sweltering.

NERV got a new pilot — Mari Makinami Illustrious. From the U.K. Blonde, weird glasses, and a tone of voice that makes me want to punch something.

First thing she did was call me "Asuka-chan" and say she'd "heard so much about me." That fake, flirty attitude is infuriating.

What really gets under my skin, though, is how effortlessly she pilots. Everything's a game to her. She did a sync test while eating chocolate.

Misato seems to know her from way back, and Dr. Ritsuko speaks highly of her. And me? I'm just the pilot whose synchro rate is dropping.

Dropping. They say it in the data like it's a fact. Like I'm not trying hard enough.

I am. I'm trying harder than anyone. I haven't done anything wrong.

Shinji's still the same. Rei's still silent. Nothing's changed — except me.

I just wish someone would tell me what I'm supposed to do.